You must log in or register to comment.
Both a right tho (the upper strawman only partially but still), the benefit can as well be self fulfillment, mental support, and/or human connection
If the person one is in a relationship with does not provide anything, not even something like support when ones needs it, the question is if it is really worth it (as much as I hate this expression in matters of love), at least in terms of self preservation
deleted by creator
Unconditional love is toxic. Sure it could be reasonable to attempt to commit unconditionally but if in 3 years no changes have been made, it’s reasonable to end the relationship as well. Written or not, every relationship has conditions, they are often flexible, they aren’t written in stone, but the conditions are there.
I would love to help you. Sadly any advice I could offer would be plagued by my strange way of thinking.
But eh, I will try, what I do is assign arbitrary values to certain things, for example human connection is 5 (i am pulling stuff out of the air here) and lying is -3 (I must also note that this would require some thinking in the way what is important to you and how much, and in what way)
The just add up all the numbers of all the things that matter to you, is the value positive it may be an ok relationship, if it is negative it may be not.
Again thats my way of doing this based purely on my spicy brain and inability to properly process emotions
You won’t trust me, but get out. Loss aversion is an incredibly powerful phenomenon that makes people make unrational choices and hold onto relationships that are not as fulfilling as alternative relationships could be. Sunk cost is another thing that keeps people together longer than they should too. The vast majority of people that do break out of relationships with these types of feelings end up only having regrets about not doing it sooner upon delayed retrospection.
Broke: friends with benefits
Woke: lovers with obligations
Bespoke: co-people
Solidarity is a multipath bridge:
If one person fails to hold the others, the bridge falls apart.
Relationships are fickle. They are sometimes even transactional. But intersecting against oppression, that’s where folks miss the point.Never confuse a comrade for a lover.
*the two wojaks met on a gay dating app and never planned for a relationship at all
in fact whenever you see a wojak comic & this isn’t clarified, assume my “gay dating app” framing. god knows it helps sometimes 🧑🌾
Personally never been in many bad relationship long enough for me to feel that. I’ve had very mutual attraction where we both supported each other for the most part. If it gets to that early then that’s a sign it’s not working. If it feels that bad it can’t be beneficial, then that’s probably a cut off point (depending on length, after years a discussion is in order anyways).
The bad one? Perhaps had blinders on and didn’t see but looking back didn’t see as much take to the give. It’s easier to see looking back but don’t take that one bad issue is a reason things can’t work either. Sometimes a good talk (the horror of any tv show) can work things out so everyone is at the same expectations. If not then … That happens too, more often than finding a long term partner. Otherwise there’d be hardly any dating.
In the end communication about expectations are the key, if they don’t line up you probably won’t as a couple either.
